World's Single Most Ridiculous Way In Which To Knit A Hat

A funny thing happens when you cut off your hair:  There's no insulation for your neck or ears!!  I live in Texas and it is not cold here yet.  Not even close.  But it is cooler than usual and walking to school on breezy mornings makes my ears hurt.  And riding the train early in the morning makes the back of my head cold.  The solution is obvious.  Make myself a(nother) warm hat and something(s) for my neck.  No problemo!


I thought I had half a skein of big fat cream colored yarn leftover from a baby sweater.  Talk about warm!!  As it turns out, I have a full skein of said yarn.  Woohoo!  I Raveled and Raveled and finally decided on Shroom.  But I did not want the rib section to be that long.  Easy modification.  Fairly simple stitch pattern.  Let's go!


And so began my foray in the world of ridiculous knitting methods.

Step 1.  Hurriedly read through the pattern paying no real attention to the needle sizes called for because you've assumed you'll need your size 13 double points.  In actuality, said needles will be too short and you will drop stitches.  Repeatedly.  Additionally, said needles were supposed to be size 11.  Not 13s.

Step 2.  Find a size 13 16 inch circular needle and intend to move all stitches onto this new needle in order to solve all of life's problems.  Discover that intended circular needle is actually a size 11.  Determine to press on.

Step 3.  Move all stitches onto the circular needle with the intention of using the size 13 double point as a working needle and the circs as a holder.  Wonder, at this point, why you aren't a drinking woman.  

Step 4.  Knit from size 11 circ onto size 13 double point.  Continue the round.  Frequently move stitches off the double point and back onto the circular needle.  Desperately wish for a cupcake.  Or 12.

Step 5.  Throw in the towel.  Continue knitting the hat using solely the size 11 circular needles that the pattern called for in the first place.  Consider knitting loosely in order to closely mimic that stitch size created by the size 13 needle.  

Step 6.  Try on unfinished hat and determine that it looks a whole lot like one of those white head coverings Amish girls wear.  Lay knitting aside in the interest of preservation.  Both self and product.

*sigh*  I think I hear a chocolate covered donut calling my name....